Dear, November

Hemingway on going broke:
"It occurs first very slowly, and then all at once."

Isn't that how love works too? John Green seems to agree (see: The Fault in Our Stars).

You lose things the same way you gain them - gradually, then swiftly with acceptance. Once you are sure of something, it consumes you. The initial graduality depends on your level of denial.

You're pretty good at the whole denial thing, yourself.

I find it no coincidence that we fall in love the same way that we fall out of it - that we romanticize our wins and our losses just the same. So quickly are we to label everything as "beautiful."

But really, where is the beauty in pain?

Please, stop hurting yourself.

Please, just let go.

The Summer Ends

"Well maybe I've been wrong. Maybe my intentions are irrelevant - but honestly, it's not just for me. We've both been so unhappy, so let's just see what happens when the summer ends." 

I'm trying to welcome fall with lion hair, American Football, and writing. 

This time last year, I was falling in love. Quite beautifully, I fell into the confused state of not knowing who I was or what I wanted. The distraction of love worked out all of the knots in my brain - all unbeknownst to me. It's not so much that I know myself now - I am just content with who I can be. You could say I learned to love myself.

So here I am, a year later - as happy and certain as a 17 year old can be. Oddly enough, happiness tends to hinder my motivation to write. (Thanks, Jesse.) But I'm finding that motivation through other discontent - the discontent I hold for settling, routine, social norms, and high school. The crisp fall weather is making a difference too.

Happy International Coffee Day. Time to get on that.

I don't even know where to draw the line between my personal writing and creative writing anymore.